8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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