Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
