One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
