the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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