I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
When are your genitals available?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
