This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize