The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
