omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
