And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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