Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
