i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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