Sponge bath it is.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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