people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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