It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
The ass gains better be worth it
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