How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
