Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
