I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
