wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
