Little spoons don't ask big questions
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
