She announced her abortion via fbk
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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