Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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