That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
