Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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