I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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