would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
