No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
In America we eat man semen.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
