I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
