I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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