There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Randomize
