Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
honey bunches of taint.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
i out mim tonsoeep
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