what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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