So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Two words: nipple clamps
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