dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
