Having a random hookup so left but love u
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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