i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
