My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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