Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Someone signed my nipple.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
