I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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