am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
