you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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