they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
