The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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