remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
