I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
