Sponge bath it is.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
