Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
