yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize