I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
