if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
