the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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