do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
