I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
