the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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