used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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