theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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