and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
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He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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