So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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