I faked an abortion last night.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
he quoted the bible to break up with me
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize