Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
