So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
