does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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