hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Sext me about skeletons
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
