So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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