if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
