She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
