dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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