i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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